I am experiencing that today. This is a day when it is hard to love him. Ugh.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
I spoke in an earlier blog about feeling conviction. Well, it is one of those things that you are supposed to use discernment with. I took the fact that I felt conviction when reading about head coverings as the conviction to head cover. So, let us dig deeper into the subject. To cover your head as a married woman is to show respect for your husband, as being your "head". Well, my husband is not in agreement with head covering. He feels like a woman's hair *is* he covering, therefore he got a tad upset when I started to cover. I got my feelings hurt, and it went on from there. He also does not like "skirts only" which is another thing I had gone to doing feeling under conviction.
Now I realize that my conviction was not to make those changes to conform to being that perfect picture of a "Godly Wife", the conviction was to take a look at my heart and see what I could do to make my marriage better. How can I be a better daughter of the King? It is not by changing my outward appearance to follow others, it is about honoring my husband and submitting to his authority. There it is. That word so many people get scared of, "Submission".
People run too far off in left field when it comes to discussing submission. God submission does not mean:
- You are any less than your husband
- You should put up with abuse
- That you will be walked over
- That you have no say or rights
- That you will be condemned to a life of misery and slavery
What it does mean is that you will:
- Have freedom like you have never known
- Have a relationship that will flourish as the man takes his God given role in the family as leader
- Be respected more by your husband and your children
- Experience a joy that can only be found through following God's plan for your life
If you have not researched and prayed about this, I encourage you to do so. Just in the last weeks I have grown so much and I already see the fruit of these changes in my home.
With those things being said, I am dressing the way my husband prefers me to dress. I am taking his lead with decisions, not running off half-cocked in my own direction.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
This is day four of getting dressed first thing in the morning. My hope is next week to add in doing something with my face/hair. It is easy to get into "frump" mode when being a stay at home Mom. No one cares what I look like anyway, right? Well, not according to God's plan for my marriage.
When I was reading last night it occurred to me that I tend to get upset with Chris because he does not act like he did when we were dating, when I fell in love with him. However, I was just brought tot he realization that I don't either. Gone are the days when I always wanted to look my best for him, the days when I was amused by the little things, so on. One thing that really made me think is that we are probably the exact same people we were then. The things we looked past because of being in that cloud of new romance are the things that annoy us today. Things such as his pessimism or me being so talkative. If we truly love one another, shouldn't we just accept that these things have been there all along and learn once again to blissfully look past them? After all, they ARE part of the person we fell in love with.
Back to the original point. My goal is to try to prepare myself to look nicer for my husband. I mean, it is the least I can do, right?
If I want him to regain the same attitude towards me that he had when we were first together, I need to regain that same attitude towards him. :D
Monday, February 22, 2010
Seriously. I have fallen into the habit of staying in my PJ's until I absolutely HAVE to get dressed. Some days I do not get dressed at all. I just bathe and change PJ's at bedtime. I am not depressed, I just feel cozy and comfortable in them.
Anyhow, while doing my Bible study this morning I was freezing in my gown, so I decided to put some pajama bottoms and a sweat shirt on. Once I got to my closet to look for a shirt, my skirts kept catching my eye and I felt a gentle prompting to get "dressed" for real. So, I got out a skirt and tried to put it on. Too bloated. :( I grabbed for another one I remembered being a little more "fluffy friendly" and put it on. Then I went on a sweatshirt hunt. Well, I only own one sweatshirt and apparently it is not clean so I looked through my long sleeve t's. Again with the gentle prompting to get "dressed" for real. So, I chose a comfy sweater.
For once if someone came to my door I wouldn't be embarrassed or have to scurry to look decent. My children will be shocked when they wake up. I am taking bets that the first thing out of their mouths will be "where are we going?". When I tell them "no where" they will reply "Then why are you dressed?".
So, when did all this happen? At FIVE AM. Yes. In the morning. I have either lost my mind or changes really are taking place. LOL
Saturday, February 20, 2010
But I promise I will try harder to get stuff here. Funny thing is, I am trying to stay off the computer as much. Doing these amazing drills with some ladies online. This way, I get my housework done and computer time. It works GREAT.
I baked three loaves of bread this week. I am posting pictures of the first and third, but the second didn't come out. I followed the recipe, but it needed more liquid.
This one is actually the one I made tonight, my third try. Isn't it so pretty? I thought it was.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
I will be sharing with you in the near future some things that are changing in our lives, and convictions that I have been under. The Biblical, Godly type, not legal. LOL
I hope everyone has a blessed week.
God is so good, all the time!
Friday, February 12, 2010
My aunt Cherry passed away yesterday. We knew it was coming, but still, it is hard. She had cancer and had beat it 2 times. The third time it got her though. Nasty monster that is is .
I did get to tell her goodbye though. I drive from Texas to Arizona and sat by her hospital bed for 4 days. Throughout those days I was able to tell her everything I needed to tell her, and I was able to get closure on some things.
My aunt Cherry called me when my son Brody died. She cried with me and told me of her son, the twin to her Robert, that she also lost. She knew my pain and wanted to offer me her shoulder in a time of need. That meant the world to me, and I had never told her. She had me come stay with them in the summers until I was 11. Those were GREAT memories for me. I got to tell her that too. I also got to visit with her husband, Uncle Allen, who fought the doctors to save my life when I was born so premature, and he was the first family member to ever hold me. He means a lot to me too. I got to visit with him and tell him everything I needed to say too. I was very blessed for that opportunity.
On the third day at the hospital, Aunt Cherry pointed to me and told her nurse "She had a baby that died, and now I am going to take care of him". What moving and powerful words.
So, Aunt Cherry, give my boy hugs and kisses from us and tell him how much we love and miss him. Thank you for caring for him. We love and miss you too.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
I guess about 6 months. So sorry folks. I don't even know if anyone reads this anymore, but, I can do nothing more but starting to write again.
I certainly hope I can be a little bit more interesting now.
We moved and we regret it. As much as the country life was creating what we thought were obstacles, it is nothing compared to the way city life has stifled us. Well, it has brought us together as a family just due to the fact that we miss our old home so very much. I blame myself. I mean, I was the one going crazy over the rattle snakes and scorpions. I was the one telling my family we would be so much happier in town. I was the one. Now I am the one eating crow and wishing I were dealing with the native creepy-crawlies instead of the human kind. So, we are looking for a home with some land, if not in the country at lease not so citified.
Some things changed...we were homeschooling and hit a rough patch. I was told they happened, but thought "Oh , not to me". Alas, it did. Pretty quick too. I was quick to give up and we enrolled the kids in private school. I worked in exchange for tuition so I was away from home for HOURS every day. I was sort-of with my children, but not really. We realized after only a couple of months that the things they were being exposed to were not really any different than public school, and that I could certainly do just as good (or better) of a job teaching than our daughter was getting. So, we brought them back home. I have never felt so good, and my hubby is quite happy too. Housework was suffering, our meals were suffering, our budget was suffering. I could go on and on, but the truth is, it was not good for our family. The experience was one of growth for me, and I could then see some areas I needed to address in order to make my home be a place of strength and refuge for my family. Also, I re-evaluated my homeschooling methods and realized I was just doing TOO DARN MUCH! Now, we have scaled down and things are running smoothly. I am under no disillusions this time. There will probably be more rough spots, and we will get through with the assistance of the LORD!