Thursday, May 28, 2009

Brody's Birthday

Four years ago we said goodbye to our little man. When you say goodbye before you even get to say hello, it robs you of memories that never got to be. You forever wonder what kind of person they would be, who would they be more like, what made them happy, what made them sad. You grieve for all the firsts you never got to be a part of. 

Four years have passed and we still grieve losing him. I have been told by other loss parents that you never get over losing your baby. I believe that. I know it changed the very fabric of my being. The world will never be the same place it was before May 28, 2005. I will never look at things the same again. I'm part of an elite group I never wanted a membership of. 

When you read pregnancy books you never read a chapter on "what to do if your baby is stillborn". In fact, it was represented as such a rarity that I didn't even consider the possibility. I look back and there are so many things I wish I would have known so I could have implemented them at the time. But I was in such shock, I didn't even know where to find the things I would later wish for.

So, Brody, we miss you little man. We look froward to seeing you when we get to Heaven. Love always, your Momma and Daddy.


  1. Oh, Heather, how awful. I'm so sorry that you lost your little boy without even getting to know him. He knows you love him!

  2. That is something I could not even imagine. I know that you will have him when you get your reward in heaven...

  3. I'm sorry Heather. Two very dear friends of mine have had stillborn children (one of them 21 years ago)and it's true that the grief doesn't stop - especially on their birthday. I think remembering them and the loss on that day is important and you've done so beautifully with your post - after all, that is your son that was with you throughout your pregnancy! The contrast between the excitement of finally meeting this new little boy and instead having to say goodbye is surely one of the greatest heartbreaks. The only thing I can offer is that we'll look forward to meeting Brody, Kyle and Sam in heaven someday!


I *love* getting feedback and comments. I will publish links to other blogs, just as long as they are not derogatory to a belief I hold in high esteem. I will post comments that disagree with my stance, as long as they are respectfully written. Most importantly, I will do my best to reply to all of my comments. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog.