I have been thinking about blogging about a personal "issue" I have for a while. This morning, my friend Christi over at Polka Spot Farm blogged about the same subject. That subject is not being a people person. Now, if you know me you are certainly saying "no way, Heather is definitely a people person". When I was in college, I was told that was my "talent". I could go into event he grouchiest patient's room and have them sweet in no time flat. Same with grouchy docs/nurses/etc. I also do well speaking to crowds. I am outgoing. I like to interact with people, when I am in THAT mindset, I do well. However, you would have to know me on another level too. The struggle I go through to get INTO that mindset is one that others cannot begin to understand, unless they live it.
I have GREAT intentions. I do wonderful when thinking about doing things with others, but the reality really kind of wigs me out. It effects my friendships. I like to have friends, but admittedly I am not the best friend to have. I am loyal, and you can trust me. If a friend has a true need, I am there. I am also forgetful. I am not very well organized sometimes and commit to doing more than one thing at once. Then I get overwhelmed. I have been working on this, but it is still a struggle. It seems like I am always chasing my tail. Again, I am working on this. I have found that the more I stay home, the more things run smoothly. Recently, I read "Managers of Their Homes" (Terri Maxwell) and she talks about how staying home is the KEY to a schedule and organization. It is the key to successfully homeschooling too. NO WONDER I felt like I was failing my children. I was doing too much.
Don't get me wrong, I like people (well, some people anyhow). I am a very friendly person. I am not the person you want as your close friend if you want to talk on the phone every day. I love to text...talk, not so much. Not because I don't value what you have to say, but because I either get distracted from what I need to be doing at home, or I get distracted by something else and end up not truly listening to what you have to say. I have a friend who LOVES to talk on the phone, and I am learning to manage this better because I adore her.
I am also "not your girl" if you want to go places together often, or visit each other's houses often. I don't do well with following through with play dates or things of the like. I *want* to, but when it comes down to it I usually dread it. Maybe it is because I don't want to have to do my hair, and dress decent, and put make up on. Maybe it's because I would rather not wear a bra. Maybe it is because I know I need to be doing laundry and if I go somewhere, I will no longer have the drive to do the laundry when I get back. Yes, yes...I think I pinpointed it!!! Going and interacting takes so much of my energy that I am absolutely ZAPPED of it when I get back home.
I will say this, living here I have been more social than I have been in years. I have met more people that I actually LIKE and WANT to spend time with than I have elsewhere. I got an email from a sweet lady I met recently trying to arrange a play date. I want to meet her. BUT, I keep forgetting to answer her email and pinpoint a time. See, told you, I am not that great of a friend to have if you can't overlook my tendency to be inconsistent. It's not on purpose. Believe me, I WISH I was so scatter brained. I wish I could naturally be organized and not-forgetful. I wish going and doing didn't leave me feeling spent.
I tend to cancel things on a whim. Oh, I am supposed to go to the doctor today? Nah, I don't feel like it, I'll call and change it.
Like I said, I am working on it. I will never be a social butterfly. I will never want to go and do constantly with others. I do love my friends though. I love that they take me like I am. I love that I can feel comfortable around them even if I don't want to do my hair nice or put makeup on. I love that I don't have to dress in the latest styles and designers for them to think I belong.
I like being home. I feel more centered and grounded the more I stay home. Know that when you are my friend I cherish you. I enjoy your company when we are together. I love to see your statuses on FB and get your texts. Shoot, social media has made my friendships more fulfilling. I can get the interaction without having to leave home. I am meeting a lot of women who are also like this, and we "gel" because of this.