Wednesday, March 23, 2011

How do you handle anger?

Do you yell?
Do you stew?
Do you whisper?
Do you clean?
Do you tell others?
Do you take it out on those you love?


Do you let it go?

Anger is such a natural response for us humans. Sometimes anger is very justified. Sometimes, there is not reason. It is difficult to control though. Today I am struggling with anger. Someone hurt an animal that used to be ours. They asked to take him, for a classroom pet (the Mom is a teacher) and we specifically told them if they ever wanted to give him back or needed him cared for while they went out of town to call us. They didn't. They went out of town for a week leaving him without food and water, and then their daughter thought so lightly of it she told our daughter. I am FURIOUS. I know, we are not to let the sun set on our anger (Ephesians 4:26 says "Be Ye angry and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath."). I have tried to keep the sun from setting, but alas, it is still doing it. I guess what this means is that it is up to *me* to get rid of the anger.

While thinking on it, and trying to find ways to let it go, I thought of the ways we handle anger. Why is it easier to be angry at our loved ones? Why is it that we tend to be more forgiving to perfect strangers than to those we tend to love the most? I know I know, "why" is the most unproductive word known in our language. I still wonder why, though it gets me no where.

I do different things depending on what kind of anger I have. Usually I take my anger out on whomever made me angry. My hubby, he tends to take his anger out on those he is close to (he is trying hard to change this). My daughter, she is a stewer. She holds it in and shuts down. My Mom, she cleans (why couldn't I have inherited that?) I think we all handle anger in a multitude of ways. I do love me some retail therapy, but that usually results in some anger of the husbandly sort. Have to limit my retail therapy sessions. :)

The Bible tells us of anger many times (here is just a few):

Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret-it leads only to evil (Psalm 37:8).

A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult (Proverbs 12:16).

Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing (Proverbs 12:18).

A wise man fears the Lord and shuns evil, but a fool is hotheaded and reckless (Proverbs 14:16

A quick-tempered man does foolish things, and a crafty man is hated (Proverbs 14:17).

A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly (Proverbs 14:29).

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Proverbs 15:1).

A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel (Proverbs 15:18).

Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city (Proverbs 16:32).

A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered (Proverbs 17:27).

It is to a man's honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel (Proverbs 20:3).

Do not say, "I'll pay you back for this wrong!" Wait for the LORD, and he will deliver you (Proverbs 20:22).

Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control (Proverbs 25:28).

Mockers stir up a city, but wise men turn away anger (Proverbs 29:8).

A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control (Proverbs 29:11).

An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins (Proverbs 29:22).

Do you let it go?


  1. wow, thanks, i need to learn to manage it better. i tend to hold onto it, stuff it, and then end up blowing up....thanks, i needed this tonight!

  2. I am a stewer like your daughter. It is not healthy at all! I think it has resulted in my axiety/panic issues in the last 5 years. It's better to find a way to let it out...somehow.

  3. Ha to be honest, I've been thinking a lot of this lately. I think we express our anger with those we love easier because we are also hurt by them.When they anger us, we are also hurt because of what they did to make us mad.

    Lately I have felt like my patience has been very short, and my anger has been quick. I know it's because we are stressed with some upcoming challenges in our lives, but it's not an excuse. I find myself snapping at Bella, and instantly feeling horrible because it's not her fault, and it's not fair for me to do that. =( I really need to find a way to ease this tension I have.


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