Seriously. Since our wreck last week, I have not slept one full night. Oh, I usually fall asleep just fine, but within a couple of hours I am WIDE AWAKE. Take tonight for example...I went to bed at 12:30, and was just dozing off when Chris and Michaela got home from a BBQ they had gone to. There I was, awake. Here I am, at 3am, still wide awake. I know there are herbs that can help me, and I am certain there are some DoTerra oils that will also help me much. However, I have to remember to take them/use them. My chiropractor tells me that I must get proper sleep in order to heal from my injuries. I have several torn muscles and joints that are out of whack or locked up. I hurt all over, but I just keep on trucking like always. Why is it that when my body needs rest the most, it goes into revolt? Like it is punishing me for damaging it? It was the same when I had my hysterectomy in October. It seemed like FOREVER before I got back into a normal sleep pattern.
Want to know what the worst thing about this "wakefulness" is? It is the hunger! I ate at 6pm, so naturally my body thinks it is hungry being up at this time. I mean, if you're going to be awake, you need fuel, correct? I hear the corn pops calling my name from the pantry, but I am resisting (for now).
I also feel like this lack of sleep is putting me into a PMS like state. I copied all of my "symptoms" that have increased since the wreck, that also correspond to typical PMS/PMDD symptoms.
- mood swings
- angry outbursts
- confusion or fuzzy thinking
- changes in libido
- cravings, especially for salty or sweet foods
- edema (visible swelling, particularly in the hands, feet and legs)
- difficulty with coordination, being more prone to accidents
- dizziness, decreased balance
What does all this mean? It means I am more sensitive, I get upset quicker, I am less tolerant, and many other things. Mostly it means everyone ought to do what they are supposed to do, when they are supposed to, without any hesitation.
We all know what they say: When Momma ain't happy, ain't NO body happy.
That being said, I am aware of my feelings and how I am on edge and make a willful effort to be more patient and tolerant and to watch my countenance with my family. However, I wish I could make myself FEEL it. I can fake it 'til I make it (I pray), but boy I feel my reserves running low.